Bisexual Daughter's story - Safer Homes for LGBTIQ People Campaign

Time can change long-standing rules and make the seemingly impossible be possible, just like the way it is gradually changing the mindset of my family. I'm K, a bisexual person. I feel fortunate to be accepted and increasingly supported by my family.

When I was a child, my mother always told me that there is a blueprint for girls. That is growing up, finding a job, getting a husband, having children, and settling down. I do not think that is the plan for me. Mommy, if your daughter wants to be loved, to build a family and be happy with another girl, rather than following what you believe I should do, will you still love your little daughter?

Coming out or telling my family about my bisexuality may not be too difficult, but it takes time for them to really understand and accept my true self. I spent a lot of time trying to know myself, but I made even more efforts to raise my family's awareness of my bisexuality, on every single day. I know that, for my mother and my siblings, accepting something different than the general rule is not easy and cannot happen overnight. It is just like me coming to accepting myself as a bisexual person. 

In the past, there were insensitive jokes and behaviour at times, which made me feel bad. But I thought it was all because there was lack of correct understanding and a narrow view. In my family's opinion back then, LGBTIQ people were weird, abnormal people who gave up on many things in life just to be LGBTIQ. 

To win my family members’ empathy and acceptance, I chose to be persistent in sharing bit by bit about me. I talked more often with my mom. I told her about my LGBTIQ friends and acquaintances, and stories of the LGBTIQ community, in a slow and informal way. I did not rush the change. Mom listened to me and the time came when instead of reacting in a slightly discriminatory manner, she apologized for her attitude and behaviour to me in the past. I believe I received such positive responses because I had proactively approached my family in a positive way. 

I still have a long life journey ahead. I may have to face up with many more challenges to be understood and accepted by people around me. But I choose to be persistent and move on as I know that perseverance can create miracles and will continue nurturing my hopes as it has done all these past years. With perseverance, my future self could be mature and strong enough to come out to everyone in the most confident and determined way.