Mr Minh Thanh's Story - Safer Homes for LGBTIQ People Campaign

"You are our child. So now if you want to get married, just get married - I'm not embarrassed anymore. I completely agree."

Perhaps, that’s the moment when my relationship with my son was truly healed. But to be able to say that, it has been a whole journey of intense struggles, both physically, mentally and consciously. In the end, it is all because of love and a perfect future that I want for our kid.

Recalling the day my son (Tri) revealed his true identity to me, for the first time in my life, I learnt a completely new concept. With a vague mind at that time, my imagination of the family's future, my child's prospects and even my self-esteem suddenly collapsed and became more chaotic than ever. Not daring to accept the truth, I was like a sick person, who was physically weak and even overthinking things so much that I did not dare to go out of the house to meet anyone. I don't know what I should do. Is he still my kid, my son?

After days of confining myself in that dark corner on my own, dawn eventually came. I received phone calls from mẹ Châu, mẹ Mộng, mẹ Ly - who are currently members of PFLAG Vietnam (Vietnam Association of Parents and Relatives of LGBT people).  Listening to what they shared and opening up my heart, I accepted an invitation to attend an event in Can Tho, which, looking back, I think is one of the most correct decisions in my life. It was an event about the LGBTIQ community.

I arrived at the event with mixed feelings of curiosity, skepticism, and apprehension. The original feeling of love for my son was the only reason that made me stay in the event even while I thought that was lost. The role play, explanations, and information have erased all my previous ambiguity. "He's still my child, no matter who he is" - I really believed so. If he is my child, I demonstrate love by supporting his future. I understood that those days of desperation were just out of my selfishness.

Since the first event in Can Tho city, I attended another event in Hanoi. It is true that the more LGBTIQ events I attend, the more my mind opens. Participating in the training course, I was welcomed and I learnt more about the stories and feelings of other families with LGBTIQ members. When I returned home with a completely new mindset, I went to my dear son to say, “I completely agree with your life aspirations.” Perhaps from that moment, our relationship has been recovered and has returned to the time when we used to be closest. 

Since then, we have become the best of each other. We have overcome all barriers from relatives, neighbors, friends. Everything was difficult in the beginning, but the final result is always better than expected. Everyone understands, loves and supports Tri. It feels like turning a new page of life. Then, other parents and I founded PFLAG Can Tho. I had my own struggle in the past, and now it will be my new journey to support the LGBTIQ community. 

- From Minh Thành